My worth is not held in the stars
I’m going to admit a little secret. I read my reviews. Yeah, I know I probably shouldn’t. It gives fuel for the inner voice that’s mean to me. And the good reviews can inflate my head/ego.
But I can’t stop. I’ve tried.
And all along, since Paint Chips released I’ve dreaded getting the first 1 star review.
In case you didn’t know, 1 star is the worst you can get on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Goodreads.
For a few years I’ve thought of the dread 1 star as a death to my self confidence. I imagined myself crumbling into a pile of self loathing and give up my writing career all together once I got that first 1 star.
Then, last week it happened.
No review, nothing more than that 1 star.
And, you know what? I was fine! I didn’t stop breathing, I didn’t feel sucker punched. I was all right. Happy even.
What? Happy?
Yeah!
Because it made me feel like a legit author. And because I didn’t fall apart over it.
I was happy because I knew in that moment that my worth isn’t held in the stars. It isn’t in whether or not someone likes what I’ve written or said or made.
My worth isn’t reflected in if someone likes me.
When I saw that 1 star and stayed in one piece, I had confidence that what matter most was that the One who created me and holds me dear.
And I knew in the depths of my soul that I wrote A Cup of Dust for Him.
No amount of bad reviews or low ratings can take that away.
Will there be days when a review will hurt me? Probably. But that’s when I’ll need to remember my worth as a daughter of the Creator of earth and sky and the reviewer and me.
He loves me. He loves you. And that, my friends, is worth everything.
susiefinkbeiner.com 
My first thought when I read the title of the article was: “Where is it? Where is that one star review? I will eradicate it!” Sometimes my head is a hilariously scary place to be.
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You’re a good friend-o, Paul. Thanks. But I’m totally okay with it! I’m even a little proud of it! Don’t destroy it! It gives me writer cred.
Also, shouldn’t you be noveling?
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You are a brave woman to read reviews. After one particularly heinous situation a few years ago, I live in denial.
But I’m proud of you for shaking it off and going on with your business. You know what you’re called to do, and you do it. Five stars for you!
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I want a t-shirt that says “Five Stars From Jessie!”. In puffy paint. It must happen.
I think if the star/review had come from someone I know/love/admire it would’ve hurt a lot. Really.
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That does make a big difference, yes.
I used to have a t-shirt that read “I love Josh Mosey.”
Josh Mosey had them made up in college. They were awesome.
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I need to get me one of those! We could sell them at Breathe next year!
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While I don’t read reviews myself (I fell off the wagon once this year–learned my lesson), there’s something to be admired in the way you face them head on! It’s like tapping your chin to invite a blow–something winningly ludicrous about it. Like pre-Captain America Steve Rogers, the scrawny kid who kept standing up after the punches: “I can do this all day.” Tough kid. Like my Susie!
And I like what Nathan and Jessie said, and I want the Josh t-shirt.
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I’m learning that I am a tough cookie, much to my own surprise. I’m also still so in awe that folks choose to read what I write. I wonder if that’ll ever rub off.
I think we need the Josh t-shirts for the next Jot! Let’s get the puffy paint and go wild!
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That would be pretty funny, to show up wearing them. 🙂
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Yes it would!
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Thank you Susie. Thank you for being real. For being honest. For being you.
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This comment means a lot to me. Thanks for that, Catie.
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You are so a five star… but so true about the legit factor 🙂 Thanks for the great encouragement.
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Thank you so much, Lisa! 🙂
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Like my hubby insists on reminding me – if we all liked the same things, then we would be bored. Odd, but true. Humans don’t all have the same interests, especially in reading material, and maybe (if it’s a real review, other than someone just posting one-star for the heck of it – since no review is with it) they just don’t like dust. 🙂 Congrats on becoming a “real” writer now! 😉
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