I’m going to admit a little secret. I read my reviews. Yeah, I know I probably shouldn’t. It gives fuel for the inner voice that’s mean to me. And the good reviews can inflate my head/ego.
But I can’t stop. I’ve tried.
And all along, since Paint Chips released I’ve dreaded getting the first 1 star review.
In case you didn’t know, 1 star is the worst you can get on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Goodreads.
For a few years I’ve thought of the dread 1 star as a death to my self confidence. I imagined myself crumbling into a pile of self loathing and give up my writing career all together once I got that first 1 star.
Then, last week it happened.
No review, nothing more than that 1 star.
And, you know what? I was fine! I didn’t stop breathing, I didn’t feel sucker punched. I was all right. Happy even.
Because it made me feel like a legit author. And because I didn’t fall apart over it.
I was happy because I knew in that moment that my worth isn’t held in the stars. It isn’t in whether or not someone likes what I’ve written or said or made.
My worth isn’t reflected in if someone likes me.
When I saw that 1 star and stayed in one piece, I had confidence that what matter most was that the One who created me and holds me dear.
And I knew in the depths of my soul that I wrote A Cup of Dust for Him.
No amount of bad reviews or low ratings can take that away.
Will there be days when a review will hurt me? Probably. But that’s when I’ll need to remember my worth as a daughter of the Creator of earth and sky and the reviewer and me.
He loves me. He loves you. And that, my friends, is worth everything.