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I had a nightmare.
It started out nice and happy. I walked into an enormous building, on my way to sign a book contract with a REALLY AWESOME publisher.
What publisher? I don’t know.
All I know is that I saw the guy, walking around with a big contract. Seriously. It was poster board sized and said “CONTRACT” on the top.
The problem was, I couldn’t get to him. Every time I got close, he’d hop over to a different side of the building. Not only that, he’d change appearance, too.
Finally, after what felt like hours of chasing the dude, I caught up to him. And, get this, he didn’t know who I was. That’s always awkward. Right?
I noticed that everyone had on beautiful clothes. Dresses and tuxedos and feather boas. I had on jeans and a tshirt…a wholly tshirt. Blerg!
“Here’s the thing,” Contract Man said. “I don’t think you’re right for our publishing house.”
“But…I thought…” I stammered and blubbered and tried not to sob.
“We have, however, decided to offer you something else.”
At his words, I perked up. Suddenly, I also wore a dress. A really frilly one, too. “What’s that?”
“Here. Have a baby.” Contract Man handed me a baby wearing a dress that matched mine. “And, listen to this…she already speaks Japanese!”
I hope so at least.