Little Miss Tender Heart

My daughter got her very first bee sting this summer. I was able to calm her cries of pain with some ice and a few hugs and kisses. She told me all the facts about bees that she’s learned from the Wild Kratz and her subscription to National Geographic for kids.

That girl knows a lot about bees.

Then, after the ice soothed the sting on her arm, she realized that her heart was broken.

“Why would the bee want to hurt me? I didn’t do anything to her. I wouldn’t have smashed her. Why would she be so mean?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I answered. “Maybe the bee thought you were a threat.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“I know, honey.”

I hurt for her hurt.

Sometime in the future, soon I’d guess, her feelings will be hurt. This time by a friend or a bully at school. Or by her brothers. Maybe even by me. She will cry. It will make me want to cry. I’ll hate that she’s hurting.

I’m strong. I’ll take that ache for her. I’m so over bullies. Let them hurl the insults at me. Friend drama…I can take it. Bees? Well, I can handle that, too. Just, please Lord, spare my daughter that kind of hurt.

You know what? My Little Miss Tender Heart needs to feel all of it. As much as I want to shield her from it all, I can’t. I shouldn’t. I won’t. She will learn from each time her heart is broken.

This isn’t me wanting her to “toughen up”. I don’t think that’s the right approach. Her sensitivity can become a strength for her. No. This is about her learning how to handle the pain. How to process her emotions. How to communicate when she’s hurt.

This can be a difficult lesson to learn as a parent.

Tell me; how do you comfort the heart of a loved one? How do youn like to be comforted?

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11 thoughts on “Little Miss Tender Heart

  1. What a crappy thing for parents to have to do! But, I was a tender heart and I have flourished so yea we have to learn how to deal with the world. Honestly the thing I need the most when I’m hurting is a hug and to know that I’m being listened too.

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    • You’re absolutely right. It is crappy and so hard! Jessie, I love your tender heart. You are able to comfort others because you can relate to them. And you can always get a hug and listening ear from me, my dear friend.

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  2. Those darn bees! Such bullies 🙂 One of the hardesst things to do as a parent in my opiinion is to watch our kids go through tough times. I just wrote a post that went up on Mothers Central this week titled Independece Day. Our children need to learn how to live and grow – but letting go as a parent is beyond difficult!

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    • Kate! Thanks for telling us about the post. I’ll check it out (once I get some coffee). You know, I’ve witnessed kids who had parents that couldn’t let go. Wouldn’t let their kids experience failure. I’m telling you, that’s no good.

      And, YES, bees are big bullies. But honey is yummy…so I can’t hate them completely. 🙂

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  3. I am dealing with a situation on this end that requires some heart mending for my tender-hearted little girl. She is far more sensitive than I’ve ever been, and it’s one of her most beautiful qualities. She expects that people will be good and kind–why would they ever choose to be otherwise? Thank you for this, Sooz. Your writing is a gift.

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    • It hurts when our kids hurt. But, Kendra, I know that you have such compassion. You are just the right mom for your little lady. It’s hard being an idealist in this world…I totally relate with her idealism.

      Thank you for your encouragement. You are lovely.

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  4. Exactly, Susie! I’m not sure how it all works, but some of my best realizations about our Father’s love for me has been through a time of broken heart (both personally and through others’ experiences). And whatever God ends up doing to comfort us, it usually turns the situation from horrible to incredible and glorifying to Him! What our enemy intends for harm, our Father uses to draw us closer to Him, and we can benefit every time!

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  5. Pingback: The Burnside Writers Collective « susiefinkbeiner

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