Why I Cried

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All three of my kids started school yesterday.

Yup. All three. For the first time. My daughter is in first grade. My boys in a young 5’s class.

I homeschooled last year. This year, I’m dropping them all off at the curb of the school. All three.

And I cried.

Not in front of them. I know better than that.

But I cried when I was all alone. Driving to Wendy’s to have lunch with a friend who recently dropped her oldest off at college.

If nothing else, I could remember that my kids still live at home, at least.

I cried, hiding behind my sunglass, because…well…

Because this is a first step of letting go. Letting my babies grow up.

They have needed me for everything. Food. Shelter. Shoes needing a double bunny ear knot.

Everything.

And now they don’t.

And now they are spending time away from my watchful eye. They will make friends that I don’t know. Learn games I didn’t teach them. Sing songs I’ve never heard.

Their lives are becoming…

…theirs.

Independent from me.

It’s another snip of that old umbilical cord.

And that’s wonderful and scary and displacing and exciting.

This is what I’ve raised them for. To go.

And that’s so hard.

And, so, I cried. Because they’re growing and going and I’m so proud of them.

Really. I think that’s just fine.

Today will be easier.

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9 thoughts on “Why I Cried

  1. Happy tears of joy for the milestones achieved, the goals met, the accomplishments remembered. Anxious tears for the unknown and unmet obstacles to come. Silent prayers to God to watch over the little ones, guide their feet, mold their minds, hold their hearts. So many joys to come, so many moments to share, so many wonders to behold as they grow “in stature and in favor with God and man”.

    And they are so blessed to have such wonderful parents, who will teach them not only the things they need to know for this life, but also for the life to come.

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