Needless to say, I didn’t quite make it.
Instead, I sat in the parking lot of a very posh gas station, looking at fluid drip from behind my tire.
Sitting in a black mini-van in the middle of a heat wave wasn’t an option. I needed to go inside to wait for my husband to rescue me (for the kazillionth time…he’s so good). I bought a way-too-sweet raspberry iced tea and sat, sulking, in the Subway dining room.
I had nothing to do but think.
To be completely honest with you, I’m stressed out. Uptight. At the edge of a place called “Burn Out”. Yup. I’m teetering there.
And with only 13 days until D-Day (ahem…deadline day).
I’m also feeling pretty discouraged. It feels like every time I get knocked over and am able to rally, something else comes along to push me down again. Over and over. Nothing huge. Just little things that add up to a lot of face planting.
But this is what I signed up for.
Really. I did.
Deadlines are a part of the publishing world. I’m thankful for the deadline. It means I have an interested publisher. That’s a good thing. Plus, a little fire under the tuchus never hurt anybody…well…I don’t think so, at least.
But the discouragement. The criticism that is just hard to swallow. Reviews that put a huge rock in the stomach. Someone looking at your work and deeming it “eh”? Oh. That stings.
But I’ve never been naive enough to think that my work would be immune from critique. And, really, it’s not as bad as I’d expected. Most days, at least.
(Side Note: Friends, can we talk? If you don’t like a book…any book…please remember to be kind when you review or rate it. Just consider how it would feel to have someone looking over your shoulder, pointing out your every flaw while you tried to do such and such a thing at work. Tough. Right? And, remember, there is nothing obligating you to review anything at all. If you can’t be kind and loving in your review…don’t do it. If you are a follower of Christ, remember that when you put your thoughts into words…even online. Thank you.)
Sitting at the booth in Subway, I realized that I love my job. I love this crazy pace and the way my fingers burn after a day of plentiful story crafting. And that, as frustrating as it was, I needed that time to be stranded for a bit. To gain a smidgen of perspective.
So, I got up and order myself a salad. I even paid a little extra for avocado.