Yesterday, I broke some thingy-ma-jobber on my mini van. I was on my way to band practice at church.
Needless to say, I didn’t quite make it.
Instead, I sat in the parking lot of a very posh gas station, looking at fluid drip from behind my tire.
Sitting in a black mini-van in the middle of a heat wave wasn’t an option. I needed to go inside to wait for my husband to rescue me (for the kazillionth time…he’s so good). I bought a way-too-sweet raspberry iced tea and sat, sulking, in the Subway dining room.
I had nothing to do but think.
To be completely honest with you, I’m stressed out. Uptight. At the edge of a place called “Burn Out”. Yup. I’m teetering there.
And with only 13 days until D-Day (ahem…deadline day).
I’m also feeling pretty discouraged. It feels like every time I get knocked over and am able to rally, something else comes along to push me down again. Over and over. Nothing huge. Just little things that add up to a lot of face planting.
But this is what I signed up for.
Really. I did.
Deadlines are a part of the publishing world. I’m thankful for the deadline. It means I have an interested publisher. That’s a good thing. Plus, a little fire under the tuchus never hurt anybody…well…I don’t think so, at least.
But the discouragement. The criticism that is just hard to swallow. Reviews that put a huge rock in the stomach. Someone looking at your work and deeming it “eh”? Oh. That stings.
But I’ve never been naive enough to think that my work would be immune from critique. And, really, it’s not as bad as I’d expected. Most days, at least.
(Side Note: Friends, can we talk? If you don’t like a book…any book…please remember to be kind when you review or rate it. Just consider how it would feel to have someone looking over your shoulder, pointing out your every flaw while you tried to do such and such a thing at work. Tough. Right? And, remember, there is nothing obligating you to review anything at all. If you can’t be kind and loving in your review…don’t do it. If you are a follower of Christ, remember that when you put your thoughts into words…even online. Thank you.)
Sitting at the booth in Subway, I realized that I love my job. I love this crazy pace and the way my fingers burn after a day of plentiful story crafting. And that, as frustrating as it was, I needed that time to be stranded for a bit. To gain a smidgen of perspective.
So, I got up and order myself a salad. I even paid a little extra for avocado.
Chin up! No matter what career path that is taken, there is stress. Deadlines, discouragement, some negativity that creeps in from somewhere (My goodness this school year was so very difficult, particularly April and March! I am ashamed I let the negativity sweep me away at times). What helps is doing what you love, something that is purposeful and points us to what truly matters. What can be difficult is remembering that in the trenches. So I am going to remind you. God is ministering through you, dear Susie!
Thank you so much, Holly! Yup. The trenches are deep and full of worms sometimes. But we have to do what is right. That’s so hard. But worth it.
I’m sorry that you had a difficult school year. It disturbs me to no end how tumultuous your career can become. Especially because people like you have such beautiful hearts and desire to nurture kids. God is ministering through you, too, Sweet Holly!
Oh, and I just checked amazon. Only 13 copies of Paint Chips in stock.
I think that I love you Susie. Your writing is amazing, even if it is “Sad Susie” (which is an affectionate name, by the way) your writing is real. Not every story can be happy, sunshine, and flowers because that isn’t the world we live in. We live in a sad, broken, hurting world. Your writing expresses that and exposes the soul. Not everybody has that talent. So you need to keep writing even without a publisher because at least my soul needs a reality check every so often.
Thank you! You made Sad Susie Smile. 🙂
Glad to be of service :]
Oh yeah… avocado… the new “super food” for my super sister!
Bumps bring texture to your life, and you’ve had one textured life! Smooth is boring, slippery and not safe. You actually have something to hold on to – God is always taking advantage of these opportunities to glorify Himself through your bumps and He turns them into blessings.