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I’m writing this novel. I have 49 days to finish it.
I’ll be honest, there are moments when I KNOW I’m going to get it done. That I’ll be able to send it in early. I have moments when I think, “Golly, this is a good book!”.
More often, thought, I have moments when I KNOW I’m not. That is will NEVER be finished. That no one will want to read it. That the close friends (or my mom) who do will toss it aside, unfinished because it is wretched…terrible…a waste of paper.
And, in those moments, I feel like I pulled a fast one on everybody with Paint Chips.
And that, when I’m revealed as a complete and total fraud, everyone will laugh at me while tossing stinky, nasty, rotten eggs at my head.
Last night, during a pretty big storm, the power went out.
The only light in my whole neighborhood came from the screen of my laptop. I wrote another couple of paragraphs. I tried to see my handwritten notes (half old school over here). I tried to force the writing.
After all, the deadline clock is ticking away quickly.
But I couldn’t seem to make good progress. I got stuck.
And I panicked. A little.
“I’m never going to get this done!” and “Why did I think a second novel was a good idea?” and “Who am I kidding???” and “I can’t even risk opening the fridge to get a brownie!!!!!”
My husband came into the room. I didn’t tell him about my little, internal freak out.
He asked how many days I had left.
I told him.
“That’s a lot,” he said. “You’ll make it.”
Calm. Steady. Confident.
He poured himself a bowl of cereal and got out the milk (he’s quick like that).
I forgot to ask for a brownie.
I wrote another few paragraphs before going to bed.
Real, natural writing. In the dark.
I read a little on my iPod (reading by candlelight makes me carsick).
Putting my head on my pillow, I remembered something. Why I’m writing this novel.
Not so that it’s good enough.
Not so that people will like it. Give it 5 star reviews. Tell all their friends about it. (Although those are nice things).
Or to build a career for myself. Prove that “Christian” fiction doesn’t have to be blah, blech, blerg.
I’m writing this book so that God can be glorified.
So, with my cheek smooshed up against my pillow, I prayed a tiny little prayer…
“Please help me write this novel.”
If God could split a whole sea in half, cause the sun to stand still in the sky, and all the other REALLY big things He’s done…well…I suppose He’ll have no trouble helping me with this little novel.
How about you? What do you need His help with?
I wrote a whole novel in 11 days once. And I have ADHD. It’s not that hard. You can do it.
Wow! That’s fast.
I think what really helped me was going back to my inspiration whenever I got stuck (and sometimes before). The novel was inspired a lot by the Gospels, so whenever I’d finish writing a few chapters, I’d stop and read a few from there. I took Sundays off from writing and made a point to crawl out of the rabbit hole and get outside at least once a day, but I’d get sometimes 8000-9000 words in a day. It was crazy and fun.
But that’s my advice: whatever is inspiring your story, make time to go back to it, and you’ll keep working. God bless.
You can do it Suze, you can! I believe in you xx
Thanks Meg! You know I appreciate having you in my cheering section. I’m in yours, too!
Very honest. I feel your fear. I know you can do it though, you are an inspiration!
Oh, Also, thank you! You know you’re an inspiration to me, too, right? Because you REALLY are. 🙂
Thank-you. 🙂 apparently it’s been a while since I have been on here…but I needed to hear this today. 🙂
Whew…you’ve got so much happening! I know you can do it though 🙂 And I’m POSITIVE your fans will enjoy this one as much as Paint Chips 🙂 I cannot wait!
Oh, Sweet Hope. Thank you so much!
Oy. That last bit was a kick in the pants.
“Poor little Adrienne. You’re having trouble keeping up with the demands of life.
But what’s that? Your God created the universe? You haven’t asked for His help yet?
Talk about not utilizing your resources…”
Don’t I know it! I forget this all the time. No joke.