Hey…pssst! Yeah. You! Have you preordered your copy of All Manner of Things yet? You can go ahead and do that now. Don’t worry, this post isn’t going anywhere.
Friends, I want to talk to you today about one of the more disturbing things that was common place in the 1950s and 60s.
I’m here to talk about…
Now, don’t get me wrong, I like a good Jello once in awhile. Put on a little whipped cream and we’re talking. Hey, I’ll even let you throw in some fruit.
But that’s not what I’m getting at here, and I think you know it.
I’m talking about people putting weird stuff in their Jello. It was a phenomenon encouraged in all the ladies’ magazines, cook books, and swooned over at church potlucks.
Sure, they usually used flavorless Jello in these recipes. Still, there is something gravely and texturally wrong about these. Wrong, I tell you!
Let me show you some of the more troubling concoctions.
It appears we have some celery going on in there and some funky looking lettuce. But what I find most troubling are the GREEN OLIVES! Why? Why would someone do that?
Please, please don’t tell me that’s green pepper, zucchini, eggplant, and tomato in there. What’s that you say? That’s exactly what’s in that monstrosity? Goodness gracious.
This right here? This is PROOF that Jello knew what people were doing with their product. They can’t even pretend that this didn’t happen. People. Seafood salad with lime Jello? Nope. This is not a good idea.
That’s shrimp. That. Is. Shrimp.
Nope. It doesn’t. I mean, where’s the gravy? Just kidding. Don’t bring gravy into this.
Now you’re just messing with us, aren’t you?
You guys do know that hamburger doesn’t deserve to be treated like this, right?
Hey! That’a fun Jello mold! Hold up. They put salmon in that? Nope. Uh-uh.
I SAY NO! I SAY NO FOREVER!!!!!
Thank goodness this fad fell out of favor (or should I say flavor) in the 1980s. Still, over two decades of this nonsense? That is shocking.
Did you ever eat such an abomination? If so, did you do so willingly or under duress? Even more importantly, did any of you MAKE this kind of Jello salad. Don’t worry, this is a safe place. We won’t judge you.
Well, maybe we will a little.