Posted on August 14, 2012
by Susie Finkbeiner
This is why I didn’t have a post on Monday. Several scratches on my eye. Come back on Wednesday for…well…something. 🙂
Hope you are recovering!! Would like to hear how that happened!
I’m doing much better. My vision is still a bit blurry…but at least it doesn’t hurt anymore! 🙂
I’ll have to make up an exciting story about how it happened. The true story is that my contacts don’t fit correctly. Or something dull like that. I’ll make up a story that involves a tiger or something. 😉
Perfect… or a huge rat, if you could stay composed long enough to write the story. Maybe you could overcome the fear by defeating it in your story!!
All I wanted was a cup of coffee. The Biggby rat jumped out from under the patio table before I even made it to the door.
“No coffee for you, Ed,” the rat screeched, breathing its rank breath into my face.
“I’m not Ed. Who’s Ed?” I asked, struggling to push the beast from my face.
“Don’t be cute with me, Ed,” the rat said. “Now, give me my eye back.”
“Your what? Listen, rat breath, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The rat crawled up my face. His cold, naked tail snaking along my cheek. So gently, very gently, he reached his tiny paw to my eye. I held it closed.
“Come on, Ed,” he whispered. “Resistance is futile.
My eye lashes in his firm grip, he pulled up, up. up. As my lit opened, I saw his wiggling nose. Dancing whiskers. He lowered his black, pebble eye to mine. A sneer crossed his pointy face.
“Sorry,” he said, jumping off me. “You aren’t Ed. Ed has brown eyes.”
“What was that all about?” I asked, scrambling to my feet.
“Aw, nothing. Just some dude named Ed owes me an eye.” The rat’s claws scratched against the sidewalk as he made his way back to the patio table. “Enjoy your coffee.”
I shook my head, pulling the hand sanitizer from my purse. All I wanted was to wash the rat’s stink from my face. I flipped open the lid, turned the bottle upside down and squeezed. Nothing came out into my open palm.
“What in the world,” I murmured. “What a day.”
Holding the bottle to my eye, I squeezed, just slightly. Prrrp. A glob of thick, alcohol laden goo squirted into my eye.
“I can’t see!” I screamed. “My eye! My eye!”
The rat peeked his head out from under the table. “You should rinse that out. That stuff isn’t intended for internal use. Read the bottle, chuckles.”
And that is how I hurt my eye. And that is why I didn’t have a post yesterday.
Yep… that’s perfect!!! I love it! Thanks for leaving out the part where your friend stood by helplessly frozen and left you in his clutches! 🙂
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