The other day I lost 8,000 words of the novel I’m currently writing. This happened after a full week of speaking engagements and feeling sick and meeting a couple of deadlines. 8,000 words is almost 1/10th of a novel. Some of those 8,000 words were really great, too. It really, really aggravated me.
I mean, I knew I could rewrite those words. I knew what happened in that scene. Still…8,000 words. Ouch!
Then, as it goes, I started going through the highlight reel of all the ways I’ve fallen behind over the last few months. Here I am, days from Spring Break and months from the end of another school year, and I don’t have a completely finished and polished novel. I have nothing to give my agent to sell to a publisher. I’m not getting going on novel #5.
What is wrong with me???
The answer? What’s wrong is that I’m being too hard on myself. At the end of October, I sent A Cup of Dust to Kregel Publications. November and December, I started researching for a novel (which I’m planning to write next year). January, February, and March I’ve been planning, pre-writing, and drafting novel #4. That and I’ve picked up a freelancing job and more responsibilities with Breathe Christian Writers Conference.
That’s not chopped liver. And I’m not saying that so you know…I’m saying it because I need to acknowledge it.
I have this tendency to think I can do everything right this very now…and do it well…without taking a break. That’s just not possible.
I need to give myself some grace. I need to look back and see that, yes, I did accomplish much in my writing and in my family life. And I need to be grateful for all that God has done with my writing this year so far.
I’m not behind. I’m still moving forward.